1

Half a year with Sophie here

   


I didn't know there was such thing as Pregnancy and Infant loss day existed until I saw a few twitter posts. I'm a little late but I thought I'd share a little bit of my story.
Me and my husband have been together for four years. A year after we got married we decided to try for a baby. Fast forward two years, nothing happened. Since it had been two years with no results  I decided to get checked out by a fertility specialist. I had a  procedure done with iodine to see if my tubes were blocked but everything was ok. A little after a month had passed since my procedure and my breast kept hurting when ever I laid on my stomach. So for the hell of it I took a pregnancy test and  I was pregnant! I called my husband yelling with excitement and he couldn't believe it. I took two tests and he still couldn't believe I was pregnant. That same day we went to the clinic and they confirmed I was around 6 weeks. I was full of emotion, crying, calling my family to tell them the good news.And they were happy, they knew how much we  both wanted this. 
A month later we were getting ready to move from California to New Jersey. I remember boarding the plane, going to the bathroom and noticing some spotting. I knew something wasn't right but I kept positive and just brushed that incident off. Days later while in Pennsylvania visiting my mother-in-law, I noticed more bleeding. I was freaking out so we drove to the ER. We were there for about an hour and they did an ultrasound on me. I asked the tech if everything was ok and she said she couldn't "disclose" anything. So I waited to talk to the doctor, they assumed I wasn't far enough to clearly see the embryo but I knew I was around 12 weeks. They told me that I should see an OBGYN, so we did the following day. 
I had another ultrasound done and again the tech couldn't disclose anything. So we waited to see the doctor. It was the longest five minutes of my life. Waiting in the room with my husband with nothing but silence. Then the door opened, the doctor looked at me and said "I'm sorry, the baby has no heartbeat" I didn't cry, I couldn't, I was too much in shock. I walked away I felt empty, I had no voice no tears, nothing. 
We drove away and the water works began. I cried so much! I was so angry! I kept asking why this had to happen to me. Why was I being punished in such a cruel way. It sucked even more that I had just left California and I was on the other side of the country all alone beside my husband and his family. But I wanted my mom! I wanted my sister! I wanted them to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright. A month later and I was doing "ok" I had accepted that I had lost the baby for a reason. This is something that I will never forget. Something that's forever imprinted in my mind. 
Fast forward two months later I started feeling that same pain with my breasts. I let a few days go by and I decided to buy a couple of pregnancy tests.
Here's what happened next


then this
 
(ignore the last part, that's from my old blog)
and finally this


Sophia has been here for half a year. We can't express how much we love her and how much she has changed our lives. 





Photobucket

16 comments :

  1. So sorry you had to go through that, my husband had been engaged for 6 years to a girl before we met, it was a constant on again of again type of thing, until she got pregnant then they decided to get back together for the last time just for the baby. She ended up losing the baby and it was really really hard on both of them,they decided to split again and he met me got married and we have 2 kids, she got married around the same time and had a kid with her husband. Sometimes, no matter how hard and sad it is, it just isn't meant to be...look at your gorgeous little Sophia, if things didn't go the way they did she wouldn't have existed. I believe it's these things in life that make us stronger and make us who we are, help us appreciate each other more, I just wish that it didn't take for such things to happen.

    xo
    Alex

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's such a difficult thing to experience, and you're right, it does make you a stronger person. We're super blessed to have Sophia now :)It really sucks we have to experience such pain.

      Delete
  2. happy six months to your beautiful baby. i'm so sorry you had to go through that pain, but look at you now!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through something that painful :( It sounds like you've been very strong.
    Your little girl is so pretty :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the kind of thing I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Thank you! She truly is a blessing. :)

      Delete
  4. This story is so touching. I recently had a friend who went through a simular situation except she was further along, and now they have a beautiful boy. I cant imagine the heartbreak one would go through. I hope your little sophie stays happy and healthy. Shes surely adorable.

    Meg
    guppyandwhaleshark.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm happy she had a happy ending like me :)

      Delete
  5. OK, this made me tear up a little. But look at your sweet little girl! These are the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, I was tearing up while typing this lol. Thank you! :)

      Delete
  6. oh my goodness, I'm so glad your story had a happy ending! and she's such a cutie - look at all that hair! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your wee one has such a beautiful head of hair! I'm glad to read she's healthy and you're happy.!

    ReplyDelete
  8. So beautiful!She look very happy. Happy family - happy baby!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Im so sorry that happened to you! i teared up a little reading that. Im glad everything turned out great in the end and you have a darling, healthy baby girl. She is beautiful! I can't get over all that hair, it's so pretty! I found you through the blog hop, I'm excited to be a new follower and read more!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sandra it's a shame that we always think that we are being punished when something goes terribly wrong in our lives. I am sorry that you went throught this. God loves us more than we can ever imagine and takes delight in us. He sent you one of the most beautiful, photographic little baby girls I have ever seen. bittersweet. dawn suitcase vignettes xo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sandra..Thank you for sharing that amazing story with us..I am however sad for your lose but happy for your blessing as she makes me smile and its not even my baby :)
    Even though we might not ever meet in life, I enjoy all your post and all your personal stories which makes me a immediate fan. I too hope to get my blog running on a personal level.
    And that day it will become successful as I thinks yours is.
    Stay happy, your daughter deserves it.
    Roxanne

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your sweet comment!